Month: May 2023

I’ll freely admit, I’m not as into K-Pop girl groups as I am boy groups. That’s not to say that girl groups are any different, I just haven’t connected or done deep dives into many of them as I have boy groups. I fully intend on resolving that with this blog, though! I have plans to do some discography dives into some groups that I have liked so far.

One of those groups that I plan on digging into is Red Velvet, a girl group that has been around since 2014. So I have a LOT to catch up on, which is awesome. The biggest reason that I was drawn to this group is the MV for their title track from Perfect Velvet, “피카부 (Peek-A-Boo)”. Give it a watch below:

First off, I’m gonna squee a bit.

SEULGI MY QUEEN!!!

Ahem. Anyway.

My friend M was the one who turned me on to this video (along with a lot of others, lol, she’s the real MVP). And how could I not love it? It’s so creepy and weird, but also funny and bad-ass.

I mean, the premise is that the girls are killers, who take out delivery boys by seducing them into their house. They put them through odd ritualistic behavior and force them to do weird things, like eat green jello mold while blindfolded and having their hands tied behind their back, and this guy is just like HAHA SURE YEAH CUTE GIRLS, WHAT, ARE THEY GONNA HURT ME?

The answer is YES, DUDE. Because they’ve been practicing with things like crossbows, throwing axes, and straight razors.

The group chases the guy down with assorted weapons, which he thinks is all fun until he realizes that they have weapons and he’s going to die. At one point, he thinks that one of the girls is letting him go, or running away with him. I think it’s the latter, because he finds out very quickly that he is most certainly not safe once he gets out.

tl;dr – PRETTY SERIAL KILLER GIRLS WITH WEIRD RITUALS AND COORDINATING OUTFITS????? YES PLEASE.

Mmm, yeah
Yeah

Oh, gosh so crazy (Oh, gosh)
Yeah, I’m an emotional girl
I fall in love so easily (I fall in love so easily)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I like new things, they sparkle
Everyone’s like that, right?

Peek-a-boo, it’s love only when my heart flutters
(La, la, la, la, la)
All my friends yell at me
They say I have a problem
I’m fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine

Peek-peek-a-peek-a-boo (Ow)
Peek-peek-a-peek-a-boo
A fox who wants to have fun, that’s me
Peek-peek-a-peek-a-boo

I said one, two, three, play the game again
Let’s press the button, hurry like “Kung Fu”
Don’t be surprised even if I change my mind
Aren’t you attracted to me? Then excuse me
Call me, let’s go play all night
Restart a game!
Go forward, roll it, Blanka!

Tonight (Let’s go)
The playground is popping
No time to be bored
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Go round and round (Ooh)
Everyone is the same
Then we locked eyes

Peek-a-boo, this is new, is this love?
La, la, la, la, la
All my friends yell at me
They say I have a problem
I’m fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine

(My boo, boo, boo, peek-a-boo, boo, boo, boo)
Peek-peek-a-peek-a-boo
Peek-peek-a-peek-a-boo
Peek-peek-a-peek-a-boo

Tag, you’re it!
It’ll be fun, I’ll include you here
(Peek-peek-a-peek-a-boo)
Till the moon hangs on the jungle gym
Let’s play, yeah
(Peek-peek-a-peek-a-boo)

Peek-a-boo, it’s strange, you’re different
I stop this game and I look at you again
I’m not afraid, because I just felt
That a new story will begin
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

Peek-peek-a-peek-a-boo (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Peek-peek-a-peek-a-boo (La, la, la, la, la)
A fox who wants to have fun, that’s me
La, la, peek-a-boo (No, no, no)

Tag, you’re it!
It’ll be fun, I’ll include you here (Yeah, yeah, yeah)
(Peek-peek-a-peek-a-boo)
Till the moon hangs on the jungle gym
Let’s play (Na, na, na, na, ooh)
(Peek-peek-a-peek-a-boo)
Tag, you’re it! (A peek-a-boo, boo, boo)
It’ll be fun, I’ll include you here (A peek-a-boo, boo, boo)
(Peek-peek-a-peek-a-boo)
Till the moon hangs on the jungle gym (A peek-a-boo, boo, boo)
Let’s play a little more (Yeah, yeah)
(Peek-peek-a-peek-a-boo)
Peek-a-boo
Peek-a-boo
Peek-a-boo

Lyric translation from Genius English Translations

CONTENT WARNING: This post mentions themes of depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and other mental health issues through the lyrics in this album and past experiences by the artist. Please take note of this before reading. Take care of yourself.

So as most of you know, Agust D’s latest album, D-DAY, was released a few weeks ago. It’s an EXCELLENT album, of course – Min Yoongi’s writing and lyric delivery is absolutely astounding – but that’s not the one I’m talking about today.

I’m going back to his first release in the Agust D Trilogy, the self-titled mixtape “Agust D.”

I only really got into K-Pop back in spring of 2022, with BTS being the group that I jumped into the pool with. So there is a LOT of older stuff that I’m not as familiar with. I only heard Yoongi’s debut mixtape this year, right before D-DAY came out, even though it’s been out since August 16, 2016.

And this mixtape? I am sorry I didn’t hear it sooner, because it’s SO DAMN GOOD.

I am an absolute sucker for a confident rapper who spits lyrics like a nailgun into a mic (look at all my biases, can’t you tell lol) – and Yoongi does just that. Each word, is targeted precisely, flowing perfectly. But the biggest reason I love this album is because of the raw, unbridled rage and feeling. The intense rage at the unfairness of it all, his upbringing and fight to get his music out there, and anger at those who didn’t support him – or worse yet, tried to drag him down – is very evident in some of the lyrics, such as the title track “Give It To Me” –

Even my family couldn’t foresee my success
What’s the point of talking about it when I wasn’t sure myself
Even my family approved me as a tough cookie
I’m the public enemy, the hyungs
Who benefited by slandering us
Every one of them had the taste of money
They say two things with one mouth
And head to the big companies
What you know about me?
You can’t control my shit
If you’re going to leave
Take back whatever you’ve said before
If you ask me how I’ve succeeded
I don’t really have an answer
But at least, I slept less and stayed active
Compared to you all to grow up

One of the hardest songs to listen to, lyrically, but my absolute favorite, is the 7th track on the mixtape, “The Last”.

Yoongi has always been forthcoming with his mental health issues, including depression and social anxiety. This song in particular is a raw and open wound, his lyrics bleeding past experiences of the lowest points in his life. Including suicidal ideation and self-harm, sort of a taboo topic in South Korea. (I feel like from what I have read, they have gotten better in being more open about mental health over the seven years since this album’s release, but people still struggle with being as open about it as we are in the West.)

The end of the song, though, is Agust D is practically screaming into the mic, triumphant. The declaration that through it all, he dragged himself through, standing on stage, able to do what he loves in front of thousands.

On the other side of the famous idol rapper
Stands my weak self, it’s a bit dangerous
Depression, OCD
They keep coming back again from time to time
Hell no perhaps that might be my true self
Damn huh feeling estranged in reality
The conflict with ideal, my head hurts
Around the age of 18, I developed social anxiety
Right, that was when my mind was gradually polluted

At times I’m scared of myself too
Thanks to the depression that takes over me
And all my self hatred
Min Yoongi is dead already (I killed him)
Comparing my dead passion with others
It’s now a part of my daily life

On the first visit to psychiatric ward
My parents came up with me
We listened to the consultation together
My parents said they don’t truly understand me
I don’t understand myself well either
Then who would understand?
Friends? Or you? Nobody knows me well

The doctor asks me if I’ve (censored)
I answered without any hesitation that I have

Habitual saying uh
I don’t give a shit I don’t give a fuck
All those words uh
Those words are said to hide my weak self
Those days I wish I could erase
Right, that performance day
Which I don’t remember very well
The day I confronted myself
When I hid inside the bathroom
Because I was scared of people

That time I, that time I
I thought success would make everything fine
But you see, but you see
As time goes by, I feel like I’m turning into a monster

I’ve exchanged my youth for success
And that monster demands for more wealth
At times it puts a collar on my neck
To ruin and swallow me with greed
Some try to shut my mouth and say
I should swallow this forbidden fruit
I don’t want it
They want me to leave this garden

Shit shit I got it so stop it
I’m the root of all this so I’ll stop myself
If my misfortune is your happiness
I’ll happily stay unfortunate
If I’m the figure of hate
I’ll get on the guillotine

The things I’ve only imagined turns into reality
My childhood dreams are in front of my eyes
The night when I performed in front of an audience of 2
Now Tokyo Dome is right in front my nose
My one and only life
I can easily live it passionately than any other
My fan my hommie my fam
I hope you don’t worry
Because I’m really okay now damn

I’ve denied my nature many times
My address is idol and I won’t deny
The anguish that dug into my mind countless times
There’s no answer at the end of wandering

My pride which I thought I had given away
Has turned into self-respect
My fans, keep your head high with pride
Because who can do it like me uh

Seiko, Rolex, AX hall and gymnastic stadium
The heads of thousands nodding to my hand gesture
Show me the money
It’s not that I couldn’t but I didn’t shit

Selling ourselves or not
You all say we couldn’t do it but we didn’t shit
The root of my creativity has tasted
The sweet, bitter, and shit of this world
Those days when I tried to sleep on the toilet floor
It’s all memories now uh they’re now memories
My shoulder which shattered
Thanks to the accident I met
During my part time job
The debut which I clung as if it was my life
Who do you think you’re fooling
By pretending you’ve gone through all the miseries

Seiko, Rolex, AX hall and gymnastic stadium
The heads of thousands nodding to my hand gesture
Sorrow created me uh look at me closely uh
Selling ourselves or not you all say
It’s not that we couldn’t do it
But that we didn’t want to, shit

Lyric translations from Genius English Translations

With this album, Min Yoongi, at 23 years old, was lifting two middle fingers up to the world, telling it “FUCK YOU, YOU’RE NOT GOING TO BREAK ME, I AM RIGHT FUCKING HERE AND I AIN’T LEAVING.”

Some days, I miss that rawness and rage that I felt in my early 20s. The fury at having to scrabble and struggle, at dragging yourself into a shitty society right out of your high school and college years, the anger at the world because everyone is telling you that you’re destined for failure. I joke around today that I love existing out of spite, but there was a point in my late teens and early 20s that I WAS existing out of spite. I hated myself, I hated almost everything, but there was no way in hell I was going to let the world trample me and win.

Now that I’m in my 40s, that anger has subsided somewhat, because I’ve had realizations about myself and of course, my life has changed…but that anger is still there, deep down in my primal mind. Every so often I hear or see something that sparks that fire and reminds me that it’s still good to fight and stand up for myself – and in turn, others who are still pulling themselves through the mire of society.

Watch the MVs for the title tracks “Agust D” and “Give It To Me” below.

We’ve all had those moments where the first time you heard a song, you stopped what you were doing and focused on it immediately. Something – the emotion behind it, the lyrics, anything – brought your entire world to a standstill and forced you to focus on what was playing.

Stray Kids’ song “미친 놈 (Ex)” was one of those songs for me. Even though it is definitely NOT the first Stray Kids song I heard, nor the first MV of theirs I watched (those honors go to “God’s Menu” and “Freeze”, respectfully), it’s one of my favorite songs of theirs, and one that elicits the same feeling I had when I heard it and watched it for the first time.

“미친 놈 (Ex)” is the fifth song on Stray Kids’ repackage album IN LIFE, released on September 14, 2020. The lyrics tell the story of someone who didn’t really appreciate their significant other when they were together, but once the relationship ends, they’re pining for the other person, begging them to come back and forgive them, and wondering why they ever acted out in the first place.

The MV cements the thread of loss and regret in the lyrics. Give it a watch below, if you haven’t seen it already.

UGH I LOVE THAT VIDEO SO MUCH, CHANGBIN IS SO GOOD IN THIS SONG ISTG

Anyway. Ahem. Back to my thoughts.

The group are all shown as sheet-covered ghosts at first glimpse, panning through a large house cluttered with assorted things. As they begin to sing, though, you can see their faces and their emotions as they go through what they’re feeling. They’re ghosts in life, not dead, obviously, hence the childlike sheet-covered appearance, but unable to move on past the regret of their previous actions. They’re struggling, lamenting their loss with the lyrics.

Felix is laying on the floor, letting a toy train run into him.
Seungmin is sitting in front of a fire playing on a television, wanting some sort of warmth, but never getting it because the flame isn’t really there.
Hyunjin is building towers with erasers that keep falling apart, finding it difficult to bring himself back up again.
Changbin is isolated in a stairwell, surrounded by photos of memories, choosing to stay in the past rather than move to the next floor.
Lee Know is desperately drinking water, trying to take care of himself, but ultimately failing and giving it to the flowers instead.
I.N is attempting to celebrate a party, surrounded by fluffy cakes and candies, but can’t taste anything. Nothing is sweet anymore.
Han is trying to put on a brave face amidst the mess, attempting to be silly and happy, but unable to hold that facade and letting himself mourn.
Chan is stuck in a dark bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror, finding it difficult to see the person he truly is, and trying not to drown in his emotions.

The climax of the song happens as Chan shoves his head in a sink full of water, trying to hold his breath, but ultimately screaming his rage and sadness into the water, finally letting everything go. Changbin smears a handful of brilliant blue paint on a window, turning away from the photos.

As sad as the song is, even at the end, the MV shows a little bit of hope at the end, after they all hit rock bottom. After that, the group are all seen going outside, running in the sunlight and jumping around, laughing and enjoying life, eventually moving farther away from the house, no longer ghosts trapped, but moving on. Were they forgiven, either by themselves or the other person? It’s unclear. Either way, they came together, finally, rather than seeming isolated and ignorant of the other people around them, ending the video as if they woke up in the light, seeing the day for the first time.

Every time I watch this video, I leave it with a deep feeling of hopeful melancholy. That even though we messed up with doing certain things or treating others poorly in our lives, it is possible to realize your mistakes and move on by forgiving yourself. It better to step into the light with others and accept yourself for who you are, faults and all, instead of forcing yourself to relive pain and isolating away from others.

I feel that the lyrics can also be something that resonate with a lot of people. We’ve all hurt someone in our lives, and there are times when we realize we ARE the bad person and beg for their forgiveness. We all have had those moments when we are like “Oh, I messed up. Shit.” And you know what? That’s okay. We’re not perfect. We make mistakes. Asking forgiveness of ourselves is just as important, if not more so, than asking forgiveness from the other person.

Anyway, enough Sad Girl Time. What do you think of “미친 놈 (Ex)”? Is it a favorite song of yours? What’s your take on the lyrics and MV? Feel free to drop me a comment below and give me your ideas. I love hearing others’ takes on songs and videos! You can read the translated lyrics below.

Ayy
My words on that particularly cold day
My yawns were particularly many on that day
Being busy became my excuse on more than just a day or two
In the end it became obvious my feelings for you were gone

I left you with just the words I'm sorry
Writing out our sad ending with trembling hands
After I sent you away I was left in pain
It was all my fault, so why am I hurting?
I didn't even thank you in the end
Just left behind sharp words in a trembling voice
Even if I act like everything is fine, I can't lie
About this longing making me regret it all

I search for you in our broken memories
Even when I grasp one all I remember is your tears, oh

I must have really lost my mind, I'm not sure
If I can take all this time without you, in the end you're all I had
I really had lost my mind
I guess I really didn't realize, it's so hard to breathe
When I'm not with you, what did I have so much faith in to do that?
I had really lost it that day

You can curse me out (Curse me out all, all, all you want)
Ooh-woah, oh, oh, oh, yeah
Ooh-woah, oh, oh, oh, yeah
You can curse me out (Curse me out as, as, as much as you like)
Do it until your hatred for me turns into anger
As long as you can let it all out and we can go back to how we were

We said everything we wanted to say
And wrote it off as not being right for each other
It was actually my fault for letting my eyes
Be drawn by someone else even while still seeing you, ayy
When you asked me if something was wrong
I just shook my head side to side
I told you to just not worry about it
But now I'm worrying more about how I said that, why is that?

I search for your in our broken memories
Even when I grasp one all I remember is your tears

I must have really lost my mind, I'm not sure
If I can take all this time without you, in the end you're all I had
I really had lost my mind
I guess I really didn't realize, it's so hard to breathe
When I'm not with you, what did I have so much faith in to do that?
I had really lost it that day

I didn't know my place, and I let you go
I hate myself for regretting it this much
I can't control it, I miss you, yeah
You've grown so distant from me I can't reach you
But now live in the pain of not being able to forget you, ayy

I must have really lost my mind, I'm not sure
If I can take all this time without you, in the end you're all I had
I really had lost my mind
I guess I really didn't realize, it's so hard to breathe
(I guess I really didn't realize, it's so hard to breathe, this moment)
When I'm not with you, what did I have so much faith in to do that?
I had really lost it that day

You can curse me out (Curse me out all, all, all you want)
Ooh-woah, oh, oh, oh, yeah
Ooh-woah, oh, oh, oh, yeah
You can curse me out (Curse me out as, as, as much as you like)
Do it until your hatred for me turns into anger
As long as you can let it all out and we can go back to how we were

Translated lyrics from Genius English Translations