We’ve all had those moments where the first time you heard a song, you stopped what you were doing and focused on it immediately. Something – the emotion behind it, the lyrics, anything – brought your entire world to a standstill and forced you to focus on what was playing.

Stray Kids’ song “미친 놈 (Ex)” was one of those songs for me. Even though it is definitely NOT the first Stray Kids song I heard, nor the first MV of theirs I watched (those honors go to “God’s Menu” and “Freeze”, respectfully), it’s one of my favorite songs of theirs, and one that elicits the same feeling I had when I heard it and watched it for the first time.

“미친 놈 (Ex)” is the fifth song on Stray Kids’ repackage album IN LIFE, released on September 14, 2020. The lyrics tell the story of someone who didn’t really appreciate their significant other when they were together, but once the relationship ends, they’re pining for the other person, begging them to come back and forgive them, and wondering why they ever acted out in the first place.

The MV cements the thread of loss and regret in the lyrics. Give it a watch below, if you haven’t seen it already.

UGH I LOVE THAT VIDEO SO MUCH, CHANGBIN IS SO GOOD IN THIS SONG ISTG

Anyway. Ahem. Back to my thoughts.

The group are all shown as sheet-covered ghosts at first glimpse, panning through a large house cluttered with assorted things. As they begin to sing, though, you can see their faces and their emotions as they go through what they’re feeling. They’re ghosts in life, not dead, obviously, hence the childlike sheet-covered appearance, but unable to move on past the regret of their previous actions. They’re struggling, lamenting their loss with the lyrics.

Felix is laying on the floor, letting a toy train run into him.
Seungmin is sitting in front of a fire playing on a television, wanting some sort of warmth, but never getting it because the flame isn’t really there.
Hyunjin is building towers with erasers that keep falling apart, finding it difficult to bring himself back up again.
Changbin is isolated in a stairwell, surrounded by photos of memories, choosing to stay in the past rather than move to the next floor.
Lee Know is desperately drinking water, trying to take care of himself, but ultimately failing and giving it to the flowers instead.
I.N is attempting to celebrate a party, surrounded by fluffy cakes and candies, but can’t taste anything. Nothing is sweet anymore.
Han is trying to put on a brave face amidst the mess, attempting to be silly and happy, but unable to hold that facade and letting himself mourn.
Chan is stuck in a dark bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror, finding it difficult to see the person he truly is, and trying not to drown in his emotions.

The climax of the song happens as Chan shoves his head in a sink full of water, trying to hold his breath, but ultimately screaming his rage and sadness into the water, finally letting everything go. Changbin smears a handful of brilliant blue paint on a window, turning away from the photos.

As sad as the song is, even at the end, the MV shows a little bit of hope at the end, after they all hit rock bottom. After that, the group are all seen going outside, running in the sunlight and jumping around, laughing and enjoying life, eventually moving farther away from the house, no longer ghosts trapped, but moving on. Were they forgiven, either by themselves or the other person? It’s unclear. Either way, they came together, finally, rather than seeming isolated and ignorant of the other people around them, ending the video as if they woke up in the light, seeing the day for the first time.

Every time I watch this video, I leave it with a deep feeling of hopeful melancholy. That even though we messed up with doing certain things or treating others poorly in our lives, it is possible to realize your mistakes and move on by forgiving yourself. It better to step into the light with others and accept yourself for who you are, faults and all, instead of forcing yourself to relive pain and isolating away from others.

I feel that the lyrics can also be something that resonate with a lot of people. We’ve all hurt someone in our lives, and there are times when we realize we ARE the bad person and beg for their forgiveness. We all have had those moments when we are like “Oh, I messed up. Shit.” And you know what? That’s okay. We’re not perfect. We make mistakes. Asking forgiveness of ourselves is just as important, if not more so, than asking forgiveness from the other person.

Anyway, enough Sad Girl Time. What do you think of “미친 놈 (Ex)”? Is it a favorite song of yours? What’s your take on the lyrics and MV? Feel free to drop me a comment below and give me your ideas. I love hearing others’ takes on songs and videos! You can read the translated lyrics below.

Ayy
My words on that particularly cold day
My yawns were particularly many on that day
Being busy became my excuse on more than just a day or two
In the end it became obvious my feelings for you were gone

I left you with just the words I'm sorry
Writing out our sad ending with trembling hands
After I sent you away I was left in pain
It was all my fault, so why am I hurting?
I didn't even thank you in the end
Just left behind sharp words in a trembling voice
Even if I act like everything is fine, I can't lie
About this longing making me regret it all

I search for you in our broken memories
Even when I grasp one all I remember is your tears, oh

I must have really lost my mind, I'm not sure
If I can take all this time without you, in the end you're all I had
I really had lost my mind
I guess I really didn't realize, it's so hard to breathe
When I'm not with you, what did I have so much faith in to do that?
I had really lost it that day

You can curse me out (Curse me out all, all, all you want)
Ooh-woah, oh, oh, oh, yeah
Ooh-woah, oh, oh, oh, yeah
You can curse me out (Curse me out as, as, as much as you like)
Do it until your hatred for me turns into anger
As long as you can let it all out and we can go back to how we were

We said everything we wanted to say
And wrote it off as not being right for each other
It was actually my fault for letting my eyes
Be drawn by someone else even while still seeing you, ayy
When you asked me if something was wrong
I just shook my head side to side
I told you to just not worry about it
But now I'm worrying more about how I said that, why is that?

I search for your in our broken memories
Even when I grasp one all I remember is your tears

I must have really lost my mind, I'm not sure
If I can take all this time without you, in the end you're all I had
I really had lost my mind
I guess I really didn't realize, it's so hard to breathe
When I'm not with you, what did I have so much faith in to do that?
I had really lost it that day

I didn't know my place, and I let you go
I hate myself for regretting it this much
I can't control it, I miss you, yeah
You've grown so distant from me I can't reach you
But now live in the pain of not being able to forget you, ayy

I must have really lost my mind, I'm not sure
If I can take all this time without you, in the end you're all I had
I really had lost my mind
I guess I really didn't realize, it's so hard to breathe
(I guess I really didn't realize, it's so hard to breathe, this moment)
When I'm not with you, what did I have so much faith in to do that?
I had really lost it that day

You can curse me out (Curse me out all, all, all you want)
Ooh-woah, oh, oh, oh, yeah
Ooh-woah, oh, oh, oh, yeah
You can curse me out (Curse me out as, as, as much as you like)
Do it until your hatred for me turns into anger
As long as you can let it all out and we can go back to how we were

Translated lyrics from Genius English Translations