I really and truly hate the post-event drop.
Post-concert drop. Post-con drop. Post-vacation drop. All of it. The older I get, and the more I focus on fighting my anxiety and depression, the more I notice this and the worse it feels.
Two weeks ago, I spent the week in Atlanta in an AirBnB with two of my best friends. We got to see ATEEZ together, we saw other friends who came in town, we went shopping and cooked meals together and sat around and laughed and joked and generally had a fantastic time. When Friday came along, we did not want to leave. We literally stood in the livingroom hugging and whining about how we did not want the week to ever end.
The day before, we met up with so many other people to have lunch at an AYCE hot pot and k-bbq place. We laughed and joked and squealed about the concert the night before, we talked about good food and good music and good things. I sat at the end of the table and watched everyone – everyone who had come together over a common love of K-Pop, everyone who I’d invited to my teeny tiny little Discord server who yell about their assorted fandoms, everyone who’s become friends and who bring joy to my life in so many lovely and assorted ways.
I sat at that table, and I smiled, and I did my best to not cry because I was just. So. Happy.
And then I came home, found out I caught COVID at the ATEEZ concert, and have been holed up at home ever since. And sure, I’m still chatting with everyone online, but it’s not the same. I miss my friends, I miss the freedom of vacation and staying somewhere new, and the joy of seeing one of my favorite gro0ups in concert.
I tested negative today, finally, and have a day off on Wednesday to get a haircut and am planning on going to the library to do some studying and take some pictures while I’m out, but this post-vacation and concert drop has hit me hard. I’m sure the COVID didn’t help, either.
I need to plan something soon, something to look forward to. It’ll help, I think.